Sunday, October 24, 2010

75 "Possible" Airlines charges...A Very possible what-if list

Lately, I have come back to the masses (or cattle as I call it). Due to a recent layoff and a job where travel requests are scrutinized like passing federal bills in the senate. Therefore, my status is dwindling down to basic levels and I am realizing more and more, that airlines are finding EVERY way to charge you for things. It started with booking via phone charges, then checking any bag and now it seems they expand every day. Sometimes without you realizing. Here is a list I created while traveling last that captures some pretty real, possible and ridiculous things the airlines may start to charge us for:
1- all drinks
2- all carry ons( more for various sizes)
3- peanuts ( if they were offered anymore)
4- to go to the bathroom
5- to use a blanket or pillow / various levels of couse
6- to watch a movie / more for new or hot releases ie.. Avatar
7- charge for HD programming music and movies
8- charge for satellite radio
9- charge to listen to the radio
10- definitely no more free headphones/ noise canceling is a premium charge
11- napkins 
12- hot towels cost $10 each
13- a recycling fee for all cans
14- guaranteed overhead space
15- window versus aisle versus middle seat
16- charge for sky mall now ( but you get a discount:)
17- reading lights
18- reclining seats
19- nice flight attendants
20- cold air
21- adult only section
22- ice in drinks
23- any magazines or newspapers
24- armrests
25- headrests
26- front or back of your assigned seat section
27- under seat storage
28- checking any fragile items
29- checking any large items extra ie. Skis / golf bags
30- checking baby strollers
31- surcharge for bookings within one month
32- extra charge for screwing up in the security line
33- for calling your name at the gate
34- last in line is free, everyone else has to pay to get on the plane
35- using toilet paper in the bathroom
36- using hand soap in the bathroom
37- getting to exit plane first
38- gate proximity to terminal
39- any power outlet
40- surcharge for passengers that request to sit together
41- wheelchair usage
42- treat checked-in luggage with varying levels of handling 
43- early check- in
44- to speak to ANY service agent at the counter
45- to hear a real human voice on the phone
46- to sit in the waiting area outside the gate
47- if you bring any food or drink on board
48- any service call button use
49- if you leave any trash in the seat pocket
50- bonus charge for any early arrivals
51- using the fold out table
52- for receiving an explanation on any delays or cancellations
53- duty free handling fees
54- to heat any baby bottles
55- any changing table usage
56- no child flies for free, no matter what age
57- assistance fee for children flying without parents or guardians
58- tiers of announcement fees from captain or co- captain
59- proximity near a bathroom
60- a cup, any cup
61- straws
62- cream or sugar
63- a check in fee( more for agent versus kiosk)
64- providing any connecting flight information
65- fee for luggage not placed in overheads correctly ( wheels out or sideways versus vertical)
66- using miles on tickets for anyone but you
67- paper boarding passes
68- boarding pass envelopes
69- turbulence free flights
70- to do any puzzles on the in flight magazines ( partial charge for started one's)
71- fee for sitting in your seat without your belt latched
72- varying levels of WiFi speed
73- noise charge- if you are making too much noise from playing video games
74- unruly child fee- if your baby or child is causing problems or crying too much,  a fee will be assigned to your seat
75- all fruit drink compliments ie.. cherries, limes and lemon slices are extra